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Title: Well, it puts my mind at rest
Author: timberwolfoz
Fandom: BBC Sherlock
Pairing: Sherlock/John if you squint.
Warnings: much with the fluff. 
Rating: G.
ObDisclaimer: ACDs and BBCs. I'm just looking after them for now.
Summary: Obligatory post-Reichenbach Falls fluff, though written before the episode. No spoilers.
Acknowledgements: Dedicated to all the Sherlock fen who are crying, hyperventilating or eating icecream straight from the carton right now, with particular thanks to peak_in_darien for looking this over. Also to my cat, who is demanding of all of the patses, especially when I'm attempting to write.

At first glance you’d think Sherlock Holmes was raised by a hands-off family and couldn’t stand to be touched.

(Well, OK, at first glance you’d think Sherlock Holmes was a posh git with either a very large trust fund or a very wealthy sugar daddy and was as queer as a treeful of monkeys, but that’s beside the point.)

John, despite all his life experience from childhood on telling him not to let initial impressions colour his thinking, went along with this assumption until he found otherwise.

To be exact, he found out that Sherlock Holmes liked having his hair stroked. Somewhat to his surprise. (His, John’s. Though he figured it had been equally a surprise to Sherlock when he’d discovered it.)

The sequence of events went something like this.

They were engaged in a case that John had mentally named ‘The Case Where Nothing Bloody Added Up’ – a case where despite many and disparate clues, even Sherlock Holmes could not find the common thread.

To that end, Sherlock was pacing back and forth, muttering to himself, while John was alternating watching his progress, trying to keep track of the odd burst of words and rubbing his temples, fighting an incipient tension headache.

He was so wrapped up in trying to track the progression of Sherlock’s mental narrative that he jumped when Sherlock burst out, “Sod this – this isn’t working,” and stalked out the door.

“What? – Sherlock, what?” said John, leaping to his feet and following him down the stairs, just in time to see him knock imperatively at Mrs Hudson’s door.

Before he could draw breath to demand an explanation, Mrs Hudson opened the door. “Oh, you’ve got yourself in that state again, have you, Sherlock? Come in, dear,” she added to John as she turned and led the way back to her living room, where Antiques Roadshow was on the telly. “Help yourself to a cuppa; I’ve just made one, there’s plenty in the pot. And there are some biscuits in the tin.”

“Thanks, I will,” said John, doing so – and nearly dropping them when he came back to find Mrs Hudson seated in her customary chair and Sherlock sitting on the floor beside her, his head leaning against her knee, while the hand that wasn’t occupied holding a cup stroked through his dark curls. “Um, what?”

“Poor dear,” said Mrs Hudson fondly, glancing down at Sherlock, “He’s got himself in such a state he can’t think. This helps. Better than that nasty stuff he used to take. Sit down, relax,” she said firmly to John.

“O-kay,” said John, doing so, falling silent as he observed Henry Sandon taking a hopeful member of the public through the provenance of some old ceramics. “Bit odd not to have Sherlock correcting them,” he said thoughtfully.

“Not when he’s like this,” replied Mrs Hudson, her hand continuing to stroke through Sherlock’s hair in a soothing rhythm.

They were both absorbed in a narrative about WWII memorabilia when Sherlock gave a sudden triumphant cry, making them jump. “Of course!”

“Jesus! – Sorry, Mrs H.”

“It was the plumber, had to be – oh, brilliant,” said Sherlock, leaping to his feet and planting a smacking kiss on Mrs Hudson’s cheek. “Come on, John – oh that is smart.”

“But what, what – how does the plumber fit in?” asked John, chasing after him as Sherlock thundered up all seventeen of the steps to retrieve his coat.


In all the excitement of that case, John almost forgot Sherlock’s little quirk – until when he was seated watching TOWIE out of desperation, Sherlock came storming out of the kitchen, muttering in exasperation and flung himself down on the floor next to John.

“What? What is it?” asked John.

Sherlock gave him a ‘do keep up, John,’ look and nudged his knee with the side of his head.

John gave a long suffering sigh and began to card his fingers through Sherlock’s curls. “You’re worse than a bloody cat, you are,” he said with fond exasperation.

In answer, Sherlock imperiously nudged John’s hand with his head, then tilted his chin up meaningfully.

And then grinned as John burst out laughing.


( 24 comments — Leave a comment )
Jan. 16th, 2012 04:16 am (UTC)
Awww, love it, hon! Fun, and sweet exchanges throughout.

And hair stroking is one of my kinks--I guess a result of being raised by cats--so that's espeiailly yummy. (-;

I'm not in the fandom, and haven't watched any of the versions (just the caps and squee on my flist) but with those acknowledgments, I had to take a peek. Also needing to prepare for the Bilbo/Smaug fic that should be flooding my flist at the end of the year. (-;
Jan. 16th, 2012 04:30 am (UTC)
Glad you liked, even if it's not your fandom!

Ditto, and probably for the same reason. Plus (der, I literally just realised) - this incarnation of Sherlock has Movie!Frodo's hair.

The eps are well worth watching (well 1x02 sucks in terms of plot, but there's some lovely character interaction and BC is very pretty in it), plus watching MF do his 'wait, what?' expression makes you realise just how perfect he'll be as Bilbo.

Bilbo/Smaug fic already exists, believe me. ;)
Jan. 16th, 2012 05:53 am (UTC)
Bilbo/Smaug fic already exists, believe me. ;)

I'm sure. After all, Bingo had a dalliance with Smaug.(-;
Jan. 16th, 2012 06:07 am (UTC)
Well taking that cup is certainly suggestive. ;)
Jan. 16th, 2012 06:17 am (UTC)
I do have the outline or a crackfic in which that is a point, and in which Thorin is a Klingon Warrior.:-D
Jan. 29th, 2012 05:43 am (UTC)
*points to icon*
Jan. 16th, 2012 09:19 am (UTC)
Sweet and funny. I liked "The Case Where Nothing Bloody Added Up" ;-). When can we watch the new eps together? (looks expectantly at you)
Jan. 29th, 2012 05:43 am (UTC)
Missed this one, sorry. We've discussed this via email. :)
Jan. 16th, 2012 10:41 am (UTC)
Yay! \o/
Jan. 29th, 2012 05:44 am (UTC)
Jan. 29th, 2012 04:36 am (UTC)
Oh, see. This is a bulletproof kink of mine, the hair-stroking thing. And also Sherlock-as-cat-in-human-form just makes so much sense. Lovely!
Jan. 29th, 2012 05:52 am (UTC)
Glad you like! Is this where I mention the scene I wrote earlier today had John doing just that to Sherlock? ;)

I recently read Sherlock being described as a bipedal cat with opposable thumbs. Perfect description.

(I wonder how much John has encountered cats -- he seems so tolerant of Sherlock's behaviour you wonder if he's been raised by a benevolent but iron paw in his childhood. Alternatively, I want to write a story where they go away somewhere and Sherlock and a very imperious Siamese or Burmese cat practically face off in the 'I am beautiful and should be adored, spoil me' stakes and John utterly fails in his efforts not to madly splorfle.)
Jan. 29th, 2012 05:54 am (UTC)
This IS where you mention that, yes. ALL THE HAIR-STROKING, PLZ.

There are a few fics floating around from the early days of the fandom where Sherlock is actually a cat that's been transformed into a human somehow. Total crack, but entirely believable.

Oh, yes. Country B&B somewhere and a spoiled rotten exotic feline, and it has a silent, drawn-out, passive-aggressive fight with Sherlock over who gets to sprawl on the comfiest sofa in the parlour.
Jan. 29th, 2012 06:21 am (UTC)
*g* There will be lots of hair stroking, yes. Sherlock and John demand it. I do not argue with them, let me tell you. ;)

I vaguely remember a few of the sort, but since I attempted to mainline your and various other best-of lists all at once, the memories get a bit fuzzy. (I'm still finding fics I'd already bookmarked a year back and have no memory of reading.)

Oh, yes. Country B&B somewhere and a spoiled rotten exotic feline, and it has a silent, drawn-out, passive-aggressive fight with Sherlock over who gets to sprawl on the comfiest sofa in the parlour.

*cries laughing* MR MOFFAT AND MR GATISS, PLZ TO BE FILMING. Except getting a cat to act would be challenging, and you just know BC would go all squishy at it and want to love it and hug it and call it George, so the filming would either be it disappearing under the couch to escape all the attention or going 'prr? More patses, plz.'

Also, Sherlock waking up to find a cat on his face. And then not sleeping for the rest of the night to avoid same fate after a couple of repetitions. Which means he's not snuggling with his John. So John, deprived of his Sherlock cuddle toy, gets cranky.
Jan. 29th, 2012 06:24 am (UTC)
You are smart not to argue with them. Sherlock's hair is delicate and wilful and it only listens to John. (Sentient hair. There's a new one.)

Sherlock with a cat on his face would be the best thing ever. EVER. Especially if the cat is a wee demanding kitten with a cute face that Sherlock wants to hate because it's more adorable than him and John put together, but he can't because ... adorable. Yes.
Jan. 29th, 2012 06:45 am (UTC)
You do not argue with a Sherlock or John muse. Especially a Sherlock muse. As to the hair, do I mention that he's had it cut from when he was sloping around various places, mostly through Europe, undercover, because the curls were Just Too Distinctive? (And I'm having great trouble visualising him without them, no matter how many pictures of La Cumberbatch with short hair I look at.)

Oh, yes. Sherlock alternating between a sulk because I Am Supposed To Be The Cutest In The Room, Dammit and fighting the lure of the Little Blue Eyes. And the Investigating Paddy Paws. And the spiky I've Got You This Time, Mr Tail tail. Meanwhile, John is amused.

If they had this scenario, and the cat was one of a litter that needed homing, Baker Street would shortly be up one kitten. (Oh, God, can you imagine trying to kitten-proof that flat?)
Jan. 29th, 2012 06:49 am (UTC)
My Sherlock muse is a right bastard. John's much more reasonable. God, I can only imagine the bitching that followed the haircut. Never mind Sherlock's pout; John's pout would be epic.

I want to see Sherlock on a sofa with his perfect black suit and his immaculate plum shirt, and a white nine-week-old Persian with gold eyes staring up at him adoringly from his lap while it kneads his thigh (and pulls more than a few threads) and sheds long, impossible-to-clean-off strands of kitty fur all over him.
Jan. 29th, 2012 07:10 am (UTC)
So far the John muse is reasonable, albeit sweary, whereas Sherlock tends to drop ideas in my mind and metaphorically drum his fingers waiting for me to write. He gets my point about the heat.

So far Sherlock's complaint is that he still doesn't recognise himself when he brushed his teeth. Meanwhile, there's a 'I miss your curls' speech floating around which I'm not sure where to drop in.

Oooooh. I have visions of a black kitteh with blue eyes (fluffy or not) but a white one has such possibilities for highly visible and impossible to move fur.

I have visions of John frantically chasing the increasingly skittish cat and going "Oh Jesus" a lot while it blithely leaps from pile to pile while Sherlock says "Really John, there's no need to fuss, you're alarming the cat," calmly scooping it up and snuggling it on his shoulder. There may or may not be crooning. ;)
Jan. 29th, 2012 07:13 am (UTC)
Can I just say, I would pay actual dollars for a scene on film detailing Sherlock's night-time routine. I bet he moisturises.

DED OF KITTEH-CUTE. Seriously. KRYPTONITE. (Which is what I will name the next kitten I get.)
Jan. 29th, 2012 07:27 am (UTC)
I bet he does. And John canonically uses hair product. (And I bet Sherlock does. There's an hysterial art I spotted with John springing Sherlock in rollers. Heh.)

I wish (not for the first time) I could just download the film in my head in .avi form.

I've always been wary of naming cats lest I name them something inappropriate, and come to think of it, I've never named any of our cats. Kimba and Socks were named at Dad's suggestion and Kit-Kat and Topie were named by the vet nurses I adopted them from. Admittedly I came up with Topes's everyday name (she's officially Fruitopia) but that's it.

You just know you'd name a cat Sherlock and it'd turn out to be the dumbest cat on four legs. ;)
Jan. 29th, 2012 07:40 am (UTC)
Sherlock goes to the salon and gets his hair set once a week. Trufax.

I generally let the cat tell me what its name is, rather than pinning a name on it before we get to know one another. Except for the cats I've had who were already named when I got them, that is (Jasper and Maria were both pre-named; not the names I'd have chosen at all.)

LOL, yes, but then you could claim it was ironic.
Jan. 29th, 2012 07:45 am (UTC)
*laughs* That, or it's that kind of curly hair that sets itself (judging by the time in the series it looks like it needs a good wash OH HEY HAIR DEPARTMENT).

A good idea. Most of the cats answer to 'puss' or 'cat' anyway, unless you've got more than one and you call them by their names to distinguish them.

*snicker* There's a thought.

I was always going to call the next cat after Socks Rae/Ray for Ray Doyle, but Kits never looked in the least like a Ray Doyle. So I stuck with Kit Kat.
Jan. 29th, 2012 07:52 am (UTC)
Oh Lord, don't get me started. BC's hair is lovely but it drives me insane the way nobody seems to know how to look after it. Sulfate-free shampoo is your friend, Benedict. Trust me on this. Also, argan oil.

One day I shall have a cat named Winston Churchill. Just because.
Jan. 29th, 2012 09:27 am (UTC)
And styling lotion that doesn't make you look like you wash your hair once a month. In detergent.

Heh, why not? And in the matter of irony, he will be lithe, sleek and a cat of very little brain. ;)
( 24 comments — Leave a comment )